RaeofSunshine - An Open Letter To Monica Rae Boyd Sheehan ‘Who Knows?’ Phillips

February 12, 2008 by admin.

Dear Monica,

I have relived our moments so many times. Searching for years, I was finally reunited with you on a random art site. It is with great sadness for me that this was not a positive meeting.

The times that I knew you, I loved you. I cherished you for the being that you were, young, innocent, just beginning to grasp at life. You came into my family with child, and you were a bitter disappointment to your blood relatives, in particular your mother.

Not to me, though. I recognized you as the free spirit you were. Someone who had a vast amount of potential. A being who could love and be loved.

I was there for you through many a trial and tribulation. Offering my love and support seemed to be the natural way. Watching you give birth to your first child was an honor. I, ready to deliver my third child, stayed with you through the entire delivery. I was honored. I drove like a mad woman to the birth of your second child. I didn’t make it in time for the delivery, but I was by your side in the recovery room. I love you.

As you grew, I was delighted in the being I saw. You were a Sister, a friend, someone I could speak with about the everyday, mundane moments. I saw potential in you.

When your separation and divorce from my brother became a thought, I still supported you. I stood on each side with love and devotion, offering whatever help I could. I was devastated when you took the children far away. I was crushed when I could no longer see or hold the babies.

You phoned me one day to tell me about your abortion. I don’t remember the father’s name, Steve, John, Jim, there were a few possibilities. You thought I would be disappointed in you, hate you, but I told you that it was your decision, and that I still cared for you. I always will.

Time passed, and I lost touch with you and the babies. Life changed, movements occurred, miles were cast between us. Many things happened to me. The death of my Father, the murder of my Brother. Moments. I survived and moved forward.

Joel and I separated and divorced, mutual, we had grown apart. I remarried. A wonderful man is my second husband, but irreconcilable differences brought us too to separation and divorce. We remain friends, all of us.

Monica, I wish for you to know that no matter what you have written to me, I still hold you within my heart as a Sister. You will always be there as that being that I loved from the beginning. I am saddened that you hold me as someone to not forgive for transgressions I never committed. My soul churns with emotions that you feel this way. Perhaps it is something that I cannot change. I would hope that you, as a professing Christian, would walk the path that the philosophy proclaims. I can only hope.

In closing, I want you to know that I will always remember you fondly. I love you and the children. I think of you daily. I miss all of you. Walk your path with dignity Monica. And with Peace.

Kindest Thoughts,

Susan

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